What is Groundwork Ranch?

Last week, I had the fantastic opportunity to attend a workshop called Managing the Storm: Self-regulation and Emotional Resilience for Parents at Groundwork Ranch in Louisville, CO. I expected some helpful parenting tools, but I left with something much deeper: a new understanding of how our internal state shapes the way we relate to others, and how even smalls gifts in how we show up can create real change in our relationships

Groundwork Ranch (GR) is a nonprofit organization that offers equine-assisted workshops and learning programs that aim to teach people a new approach to human relationships. The classes are run by co-founders Dave Wyner and Lottie Grimes, both certified clinical mental health counselors with years of experience in the field. These workshops are geared toward anyone who feels like they could benefit from feeling empowered in their relationships and communities, especially at-risk youth and caregivers of children in foster care. 

So…you just rode horses, right? 

Actually, no! When I first heard about it, that’s what I thought too. However, none of the programs at GR involve riding the horses. Before we started interacting with the animals, Dave and Lottie taught us about understanding the five evolutionary adaptations horses display when interacting with each other and with humans, and how they mirror the behaviors of children who have endured trauma, and how we can apply these practices to our relationships. 

The first concept to understand is the survival perspective, which means that horses (and prey animals in general) are concerned about their survival, first and foremost. Children who have experienced trauma act similarly, and recognizing that helps us make sense of a child’s reaction to a perceived threat, even when their behaviors may be confusing to us. Understanding that others’ decisions are based on their own personal needs, experiences, and emotions can help us respond in a better way. 

The next concepts go hand-in-hand: emotional contagion and constant reassessment. In order to survive, horses are extremely intuitive to the world around them and are constantly monitoring their environment. Horses adopt the emotional state of the person it’s interacting with, so you have to regulate your energy at all times. From one moment to the next, they are determining whether or not you are fit to lead them, and cooperate accordingly. Applying these principles to interacting with your child looks like remaining present in each moment and recognizing the first signs of dysregulation in yourself or your child. When noticing dysregulation, you have to be ready to change your approach to the situation, and use self-regulation skills to stay calm. 

Non-verbal communication is another tactic that prey animals and humans alike use to assess the situation they’re in. By learning to align your verbal and nonverbal messages, you can improve your interactions and create a safe environment for your child. 

Lastly, live and learn describes how horses, like humans, must learn to properly identify threats and moderate their responses. Some examples of applying this to interactions with your child would be noticing subtle signs of their dysregulation, validating your child’s reaction to calm down their nervous system, and then teaching them how to respond to the threat they’re perceiving. 

How’d it go applying all this technical stuff to interacting with the horses? And do you really think you can use these concepts in your life?

To my surprise, once we learned the science and philosophy behind why these methods of interaction work, it all made sense! 

After our group discussion, everyone chose an animal to pair up with. Although this was an equine workshop, there were also two donkeys! I chose a donkey named Scooter, and we didn’t learn their backstories until much later (something that often happens when a child is placed with a caregiver). 

Our first task was to brush them and create a relationship with them, all while practicing the concepts we learned. I won’t lie… on paper, these concepts seem like they’d be easy but in actuality, it can be pretty hard to practice them in real life! Even while doing a simple task like brushing Scooter, I had to constantly regulate my emotions in order to help him feel safe. It made me realize just how often we interact with others without being aware of our own thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Scooter seemed very hesitant of me, and wouldn’t let me brush him. Not only was this frustrating, it also made me feel insecure, like I was doing something wrong, or that I was the problem. Letting my emotional dysregulation spill over would only make things harder for both of us. So I paused. I reminded myself: he’s just trying to survive. I used self-regulation techniques, like breathing exercises, and grounded myself. I tried to show him that he could trust me. Eventually, I put the brush down and simply offered my presence and some occasional petting. He still seemed a bit cautious, but I think it worked!

After lunch, we paired up with our animals again and this time had a much more daunting task… an obstacle course. We each had to guide our animals through different tasks, like walking under colorful streamers or navigating around some branches on the ground. The idea behind this is to simulate what it would be like working through situations that cause emotional dysregulation in your child. To be honest, Scooter and I didn’t even make it through one task, but I feel it only added to the learning experience. Because he was feeling so uncomfortable, working with him really helped me be mindful of all of my emotions and intentions, how they were being perceived by him, and how this made him behave in response. I learned that Scooter came to the ranch only about a year ago from a neglect situation where he was kept alone in a pen and only had human interaction when neighborhood kids would walk past him and taunt him. It made sense that he was so hesitant of me, and helped me understand why he was acting the way he was. 

We also switched animals a few times, and I attempted the obstacle course two other times with horses named Delta and Wren. Going through the course with them was a very different experience, as they were much more willing to do the tasks. With them, I focused on practicing co-regulating and modeling calmness, so that they wouldn’t feel triggered. Getting to do the obstacle course with different animals was a great way to show how each person comes with their own experiences and backgrounds, and how this influences their behaviors. Completing the tasks with the horses was so rewarding, but also helped me remember that success cannot always be measured the same from person to person. With the horses, success meant completing the obstacle course. With Scooter, because his needs were different, success looked like him not pulling away when I tried to pet him. It’s important to put things in perspective. 

Overall, my experience with Groundwork Ranch was extremely valuable. It taught me so many things about my day-to-day interactions that I hadn’t stopped to consider before. It also gave me wonderful insight into how children in foster care view situations and behave accordingly. I learned new concepts that I can readily implement into my life, even though I’m not a parent or caregiver. When I was struggling to get one of the horses to cooperate with me through the obstacle course, Dave said something that really resonated with me: when things aren’t going right, go left. That phrase has echoed in my mind ever since, a reminder that when things feel overwhelming or out of control, the most important step I can take is to check in with myself. Because when I can stay calm and present, I create the space for others– human or animal– to feel safe, seen, and supported. That, I think, is where true connection begins.